I had a moment this week

I had a little moment in class this week. I was having trouble understanding how to say the word “pieno”. Of course I didn’t know it was spelled this way at the time. I heard “piano” which has a different meaning and it didn’t make sense to me to use that word in this way. So, I asked for clarification. They teach you verbally first and then eventually write it on the board. I’m sure these people know what they are doing but I always get really frustrated that they won’t show you what the word looks like until you’ve tried saying a ton of times. Some people learn better audibly and some visually. I believe this is a well-known fact. I also think its well known that when you have both you learn even better. I am a visual learner. Once I see something I have a new level of clarity that I didn’t have when it was just spoken to me.
Anyway, I was trying to understand how to say the word and I had three people saying the word to me at slightly different times. I hate when I get instruction from more than one person at a time. Everyone who saw me rock climb for the first time can attest to this issue. It’s impossible to focus and I get really short tempered. Also, when you are trying to learn a language with other beginners and you have a person from Spain saying the word, someone from London saying the word, and someone from Korea – it sounds totally different coming out of each persons mouth. I kind of snapped. Maybe not kind of, I snapped. I said, “I can’t understand how to say it when three different people are saying it a the same time”. I looked directly at Estrella, from Spain, who has one of the better accents, and she kindly repeated it for me.
I have to admit that I was close to boiling anyway. It’s been brewing off and on since I got here but the last week we had a new addition to the class who has been getting on my nerves while in class. Outside of class I enjoy her, but in class – ugh. She’s the one from London. I’m sure I’m stereotyping but she’s going to Oxford in the fall so I assume she’s smart. She had mentioned after a couple of days in class that it was too easy for her and our teacher was going too slowly. I said, “not for me! Maybe you should move up to the next level”. This is what they do when you are really good and the class isn’t challenging you. They’ve done this with a handful of people that have been in my class. Hector from Mexico, Annielle from Australia, and Michael from LA all got moved up a level. Well I think there’s a reason she hasn’t been moved up. I thought she knew what she was doing and sometimes she does but she’s constantly talking to the point that I can’t hear what our teacher actually said. This leaves me with hearing how to say something second hand from a non-native speaker. She’s also pretty confident that she’s correct all the time but she’s frequently wrong and Marina, our teacher, is often laughing when she tries to understand what she’s saying.
Anyway, it was funny how I immediately assumed that she knew what she was talking about because her level of confidence was so high and mine is so low with this class. We have quite a few Asians in the class who I typically doubt because their speech isn’t as fluid and easy to understand. However, they are the ones that have all the verb conjugation memorized and can tell you most anything – if only they could feel confident enough to say it.
I am relaxing a lot this week though. I missed three days of class last week because of the flu so I felt really behind. I'm feeling better this week and trying to play.
I'm trying to not take it so seriously. I felt really stressed the first week to know more and know it right away. I think that was because there were three people in the class who were so good already. I've realized that we are all learning and we all have different strengths. I've even had a few moments when I've been right about something that another student had disagreed with me on. Those little learning victories have been really good for my confidence with the language. I'm trying to practice outside of class more too. The first week I was so tired at the end of each day that I couldn't do much after school. I'm still pretty exhausted at the end of the day but it's more manageable.
Tonight the group of us will have dinner at a fellow students house and then go out on the town for a bit. I'm moving out of the suburbs today as well and to the center of town. It's a busy day!